Slayers - Battle Of The Writer's Block
by Rivenchu
Summary: Everyone knows about the fanfiction writer's never ending battle with the ultimate evil that is called...Writer's Block.This is how the Slayers and on lone author combat the ultimate evil. PS. Chapters aren't necessarily related.
1. Round 1 (And There Won't Be Any Other Ro...

Author's Notes: Huzzah a ficcie a ficcie I wrote a ficcie! Even though I don't own the characters, I own the plot...sort of. I can't claim full responsibility for the plot. *Pout* But I hope you like it anyway. ^_^  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*(...yay...huzzah...yay... )*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The tavern is dark and empty, only a single candle illuminates one corner. Six people sit around the table, with the candle in between them.  
  
"It has been far too long. Without another season we can only live on in fanfictions." Lina's eyes were closed, a sad expression on her face.  
  
"Yes even if we are in wierd, demented, or out of character fanfictions, it shows we still exist." Amelia was staring at the flickering candle.  
  
"Though some fanfictions are never finished." Zelgadis looked at everyone else present.  
  
"Well, perhaps we should go check on one of them." Xellos suggested quietly, eyes glittering in the candlelight.  
  
Filia stood up so quickly that she knocked her chair backwards. She then leapt up on the table and pointed to the sky while shouting, "We must save the world!" Filia then stepped down and in a softer tone added, "Do you think we could blackmail one of them?"  
  
"Black mail? Oh I like blue armor, not black." Gourry broke the serious mood with that comment and the tavern now was well lit by some unknown force.   
  
"The question is, who should we visit?" Zelgadis leaned back in his chair looking thoughtful.  
  
"I don't know. We need someone smart, gullable, crazy enough to belive that they're not hallucinating when they see us and ... and..."Lina stuttered trying to think of more descriptions.  
  
"Kinky?" Xellos supplied.  
  
"No!" Lina whapped Xellos smartly on the head before going back to a thoughful pose. "We need someone..."  
  
"Evil?" Xellos supplied again.  
  
"Noo! Lina whapped Xellos again. "We need someone who has no life, is nice, and too polite to say no..."Lina trailed off.  
  
"Why Ms. Lina look at this convienient paper I have that lists authors. There's even one that matches what we ask for." Amelia began to read off of the paper. "Her name is Digi-riven or Riven for short. It says she's nice, smart, gullable, very polite, nice, evil, and ... kinky...?" Amelia stared at the paper.  
  
"Well let's go save the world!" Filia ran out the door soon followed by the others.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*(Aren't they pretty squigglies?)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Type type type. I must type something, but the evil writer's block has foiled me once again!" Riven stared blanky at her computer screen until she put her head down on the key board.  
  
The door burst open and The Slayers walked in, led by a very angry Lina.  
  
"Why aren't you writing fanfics?!" Lina yelled complete with red aura, fangs, and red glowing eyes.  
  
"Writer's block." Riven meekly squeaked.  
  
"We can fix that. Zelgadis get the Fanfic Book." Lina calmed down and looked over to wards Zelgadis who pulled a book out, from the mysterious beyond somewhere and nearly falls in a plot hole.   
  
Zelgadis glared at the bottomless plot hole before startin to read. "There is drama, poetry, song-fic, action/adventure, mystery, horror, angst, suspense, parody, supernatural, romance, self-insertion, humor, pure insanity, 'oh-what-was-I-thinking/on-when-I-wrote-this', and *cough* lemon." Zelgadis can't quite hide the slight red tinge on his face.  
  
"What was that last one?" Xellos asked after he put his hand next to his ear.  
  
"*cough cough* Lemon. *cough*" Zelgadis quietly said while blushing a brighter red color.  
  
"Still can't hear you." Xellos said.  
  
"Cut it out Xellos." Filia growled.  
  
"Could you explain them a teeny bit more?" Amelia asked.  
  
"Drama like suspense, keeps you on the edge of the seat to see what happens next. Poetry is a poem. Parody is mimicing somethingg ususally in a homorous way. Mystery is a mystery which can be resolved in the end or not. Action/Adventure is well filled with action and adventure. Angst is ususally dark, and not happy. A song-fic is based on a song. Supernatural deals with the supernatural naturally. Self insertion is where the author writes in a character that represents themself usually this fic turns out to be a humorous fic. Humor is comical with a happy or strange ending. Pure insanity is a purely plotless insane fic. The 'oh-what-was-I-thinking/on-when-I-wrote-this' is well...undescribable, this is usually humorous. Romance is romance and *cough and blush* lemon is related to that category." Zelgadis looked up at everyone and sweat-dropped.  
  
"Zzzzz...." everyone was sleeping.  
  
Zelgadis sighed just before taking a deep breath and shouting "Hey! Everyone wake up!" at the top of his lungs.  
  
Everyone woke up with a different reaction.  
  
"I'll take Seyruun history for 100." Amelia groggily said.  
"I didn't mean to fall asleep." Filia muttered.  
"Five more minutes mom." Gourry rolled over and went back to sleep.  
"I fell asleep?" Xellos blinked.  
"Fireball!" Lina acted on reflex.  
"..." A blackened burnt to a crisp Riven coughed up a smoke ring and then stared.  
  
"Ms. Lina it's unjust to burn to author." Amelia said when she shook off the after asleep fuzzies.   
  
"I write humor, romance, self-insertion, pure insanity, 'oh-what-was-I-thinking/on-when-I-wrote-this' but..." Riven began. {Hurray for me I'm working on a Action/Adventure thingie!}  
  
"But...?" Lina asked.  
  
"My writer's block won't go away." Riven now has a solo light on her as everything else fades to black, "No matter how hard I fight it, I can not win."   
  
"I know how we can fix that!" Amelia chimed in. "A sugar rush. I love sugar rushes" Amelia did a justice pose.   
  
"I don't get sugar rushes." Riven said flatly.  
  
The Slayers stare.  
  
"It's not like I have a choice," Riven defensively said. "I want to have a sugar rush! I really want too!" Riven wailed the last part of the sentence.  
  
"You're in luck I have an idea..." Lina grinned her 'don't-refuse-unless-you-want-to-be-Dragon-Slaved.'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*( ;_; I really am sugar rush deficient)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I shall NEVER eat candy again." Riven said with a small pause in between each word. Unlike almost everyone else who ate the candy, she was laying face down on the table.   
  
"Well get hyper, we bought enough candy to fill a swimming pool!" Lina shouted frantically tapping her foot and waving her arms around.  
  
"Well Lina, we ate most of it. I wonder why Amelia is singing on the ceiling like that." Gourry pointed up at Amelia.  
  
People stared at Amelia who was threatening a chandilier to convert to the side of justice so it could burn brighter. Zelgadis was in charge of catching her if she fell, he was ignoring the people staring at him.   
  
Filia, withher tail out, was ballet dancing in front of some staring and shocked people. Xellos was just giggling hysterically watching her, actually I don't think he could stop laughing even if he wanted to. People were staring at him too.  
  
"I said I don't get hyper off of sugar, no matter how much I eat." Riven turned an interesting shade of green. "I really don't feel so good...urk..."  
  
"You never said that, I just spent sooo much money on all of this candy!" Lina looked at the gang. "Well onto Plan B. Everyone let's go!"  
  
Amelia swung off the chandelier and out an open window. Zelgadis ran after but was too late. He sweat-dropped when a loud crash was heard. Filia did a fancy ballet move and twirled out of the store followed by a giggling Xellos. Lina walked out followed by Gourry who had slung Riven over his shoulder.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*( ^_^' Never give sugar to The Slayers)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Slayers, after the sugar rush wore off were standing on top of a big cliff.  
  
"I don't know about this..." Riven said looking at all the equipment she was wearing nervously.  
  
"It is a well known fact that bungee jumping gives a rush." Lina stated. Then she adopted a innocent kitty face. "So jump." She pushed Riven off of the cliff.  
  
"Ahhhiiiiee!" Riven screamed.  
  
A second passed before Amelia spoke up. "I hope you tied the ropes tight Ms. Lina."  
  
"Filia was supposed to tie the ropes." Lina said.  
  
"No Amelia was supposed to..." Filia trailed off as The Slayers looked at the last coil of bungee rope went over the cliff.  
  
"Oh dear..." Xellos said as everyone collectively sweat-dropped.  
  
Peeking over the edge they heard a thump and saw a dust cloud puff up. Everyone grew an even larger sweat-drop.  
  
"Well," Lina smiled weakly, "onto Plan C. We'd better go get her"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*(...owies and ouchies...)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Riven paid no attention to her typical hospital surroundings but instead looked at her bandages that covered her from head to foot. Trying to voice her protests she said "Rrnnm" (actaully she tried to say darn).  
  
And the door to her room burst open and (Guess who?) The Slayers came walking in.  
  
"We have come up with a new idea." Filia said.  
  
"Yes though this one is like the others and is bound to work just as well." Zelgadis muttered.  
  
"Lina what does this button do?" Gourry asked pushing the little red glowing button.  
  
"Mrrrrmmm!!!" Riven's eyes expanded to the size of dinner plates as she shrieked through the bandages just before the bed flipped and catapaulted her out the window. The scream of "Mrrmmmrrrnn!!!" was heard until Riven finished falling the 14 stories.  
  
The Slayers looked out the window at the dust cloud that had mysteriously appeared right where Riven would land. They then all looked at each other and sweat-dropped, just before running down the stairs and outside the hospital.  
  
They arrived when the dust cloud was almost gone, and hesitantly peered in the Riven-shaped hole in the pavement...  
  
And was promptly scared as a bandage free Riven crawled out.  
  
"Whoa..."Riven said in a daze as she looked around with her super swirly eyes.   
  
"I don't think she is entirely here..." Amelia said waving her hand in front of Riven's face.  
  
"Well onto Plan D. Gourry grab Riven." Lina said just before Riven fell back into the hole and passed out.  
  
"Okay." Gourry saluted and picked up the unconcious author.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*(...more owies and more ouchies...)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Oh this is so pretty." Amelia gushed looking at the view around her. They were on a crystal clear lake, surrounded by a lush forest with breathtaking mountians on the horizion.  
  
"We shouldn't have come out, there is a storm warning." Zelgadis warned. While the surroundings were nice the sky was indeed a dark grey color, and the waves were choppy.  
  
"This will eliminate your writer's block." Lina said with a dangerous glint in her eye as thunder rumbled.  
  
Riven looked up and sighed. "Yay storm. I love storms."  
  
"By any chance does this plan include a large wave." Xellos curiously asked.  
  
"No it doesn't, you should know that. You were there when we were didcussing the plan." Filia said.  
  
"Actually I was thinking about something else. But if the plan doen't include a large wave," Xellos then pointed behind him at a very VERY huge wave rapidly approaching, "then we may be in trouble." He then paused and looked thoughtful.   
  
Everyone then began running around the ships dock. (Except Xellos, it wouldn't have bothered him even if the wave hit, and Riven, who was still injured some what from all that happened and didn't really care at the moment)  
  
Before the wave hit every stopped and stared at it while shouting "Tsu... tsu... tsunami!!!" And the tidal wave hit.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*( Aren't we all having fun? ^_^ )*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Broken branches and trees were everywhere, and all was quiet.   
  
It was quiet until an angry shout of "I've had it!" rang in the air. Lina burst out from a pile of branches and stalked over to where Riven's foot was sticking out from another pile of branches. Lina dug out the author, grabbed her by the collar of her shirt, and began to shake her.  
  
"What will it take you to write a fanfiction!" Lina screeched her eyes glowing red, fangs in clear view, and a red battle aura surrounding her.  
  
"Ms. Lina stop harassing the author!" Amelia shouted jumping in and prying Lina off the author.  
  
"If the sky was green, the sea was red, and the grass was blue, what color would the clouds be?" Riven said with swirly eyes just before she passed out and fell back into the pile.   
{Huzzah one of my favorite sayings! If you can correctly guess the answer I'll send a cyber cookie! Yes this question does have an answer. ^_^}  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*(That don't impress me much...)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Plan E is where we..." Lina began.  
  
"No more plans! No more plans!!" Riven shouted throwing herself at Lina's feet. "Take me home and I'll show you something! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!"  
  
Through some mysterious force we shall never know they were back at Riven's house, in the room with the thing we authors/readers of fanfiction can't live without, the computer.  
  
"Well what?" Zelgadis said impatient.  
  
Riven turned around and grinned. "I left it on auto-type record. Normally I get Riven wakes up, takes a shower, eats breafast, goes to school. But today I got a fanfiction. See I'll read it to you..."  
  
The tavern is dark and empty, only a single candle illuminates one corner. Six people sit around the table, with the candle in between them...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*(-gasp- I created a never ending fanfic!)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Author's Notes: Well, this was inspired by Slayers - The Fanfic by Sharon Toggle. ^_^ Thanks for letting me borrow your idea. Only I've been plagued by a writer's block and can't seem to get anything done and after reading that and thinking about my writer's block look what I came up with. Please review. ^o^ \V/ Death to the evil writer's block! 


	2. Round 2 (Why'd I Get The Hentai Narrator...

Author's Notes: ^-^ Hi. Don't own Slayers. I own the little dimension called the plot though. Why? It came from my mind-brain-thought-place-thingie... O_o I cunfuzzled myself. *giggle* ^_^ 

~ ~ ~ (*dun dun dun dramitic music plays 'cause I feel like it should…) ~ ~ ~

The quiet meadow is the perfect image of a well, quiet meadow. There are little hill, tall grass that waves in the wind, and clear blue skies with white cotton candy clouds. However while it looks like a meadow it doesn't sound like one.

"Are mo shitai, kore mo shitai! Onna no ko ni mietatte. Yudan shitara jigoku iki yo jama wa sasenaikara!" Wait that's a person singing, not a deranged off-key bird.

"Hey! Leave me alone I made you and I can send you back to the unemployed narrator dimension!" 

Ummmm… yes ma'am. *cough* Well an incredibly talented and beautiful young lady daintily frolicked through the meadow singing a song in such a way that put even the best singer birds to shame.

The mentioned 'lady' reached up and thwapped the narrator. "Act like a narrator, flattery will get you nowhere."

Yes ma'am. Well then an average looking girl walked through the meadow singing like a bird who has had too much to drink.

Once again the girl reached up and thwapped the narrator. "Don' make me sound that bad!"

Yes ma'am. Ahh… A girl skipped through the meadow singing one of her favorite songs. *ducks in case the girl mazoku decides to thwap him again*

"That's good, continue." The mazoku smiled and skipped through the meadow. 

It wasn't long before mazoku's singing attracted the attention of a few travelers, but not just any travelers but the full gang of Slayers, Lina, Gourry, Amelia, Zelgadis, Filia and Xellos. 

"Lina look! We're being attacked by a mazoku!!" Amelia pointed at the girl.

Blink blink. "I'm not attacking."

"Ra Tilt!" "Dragon Slave!" "Ra Tilt" "Light come forth!"

Blink blink, her eyes expanded to the size of dinner plates before she dodged the four separate energy attacks. "I didn't do anything!!!" she yelled after she landed a few dozen feet away. "It's not very just to attack someone who's walking by for absolutely no reason!" she glared. 

"You must have a sneaky diabolical plan plotted against us!" Amelia shouted jumping up to a tree branch.

The girl mazoku hopped up on another nearby branch. "So I can't just skip and frolic around singing just because I'm a mazoku? That is an unjust biased view of the world!"

The others were sweat-dropping by now. 

Xellos sighed and then looked up, "Oi! Riven what are you doing here?!"

Blink blink. "Xellos!!" The girl mazoku now known as Riven leap down and promptly glomped the other mazoku.

Blink blink went the rest of the Slayers. 

"What are you doing here Riven?" Xellos tried to ignore the fact that Riven was latched onto him.

"I was singing and skipping about for no reason. Tis my vacation today!" Riven replied grinning. 

Blink blink went everyone else.

^.^ "What?"

"…" went everyone else.

^-^ "I'm not doing anything wrong now am I?" Riven felt a poke on her head, she looked up.

Xellos pointed her arms around his chest squeezing so tightly that it cutting off his ability to breathe.

^.^;;; "Sorry Xellie." Riven let go and then innocently put on her best innocent act.

~ ~ ~ (I'm writing this as I go) ~ ~ ~

Poke poke.

"Quit that Riven." Zelgadis growled.

Poke poke. Riven poked again.

"I said quit that." Zelgadis twitched and get a stress mark.

Poke poke. And yet Riven poked on.

"Quit that or else I'll Ra Tilt you!" Zelgadis yelled growing a demon head.

Minutes later…

"Don't touch my hair." Zelgadis had gotten several more stress marks.

Poke. So Riven went back to poking.

"Don't poke me." Zelgadis now had an aura around him. 

"Make up your mind." Riven whined.

"Don't do either and go away!" Zelgadis now had fangs.

Riven looked thoughtful, "Mmmmm…Okay." She skipped over to Gourry and inconspicuously started to quickly braid his hair. After that she then braided Lina's hair, Amelia's hair met the same fate as did Zelgadis's hair, Xellos's hair, and even her own hair. 

She then took some scissors and cut grass. Then she braided the cut grass and made head wreaths out of them. She inconspicuously put one on everyone's head, even her own. Then she decided to slow down from hyper speedy movement to see everyone's reaction.

^o^ "Far away omou mama wa ga mama ni! Tabi o tsuzukete yukitai. Tsurai hibi mo egao de PIRIODO yo!" Riven sang happily when all chaos broke lose.

"What happened?!" Lina threw the grass wreath off of her head, as did Zelgadis

Riven shrugged and danced down the road.

"Is she sane Mr. Xellos?" Amelia asked watching the other cheerful mazoku turn around skip back.

"Sometimes."

And so after many crazy mishaps mostly all of Riven's doing though the Slayers didn't know that. Well maybe Filia or Xellos did because they're not human and have better senses. Oh and they have that extra sense thing too.

Riven thwapped the narrator. "On with the fic, I can always just get another narrator if you won't behave or stay on track. I bet the readers forgot all about you too!"

Sorry ma'am. By the time they all reached the next town, they were ready to go the the bar. They had all striped down too…

Riven came up and repeated thwapped the narrator. "Argh!! I don't want a hentai narrator!!! Do I have to whip you into shape myself?!?! You stay on track and no hentai references or else!!!" Riven gave her best evil angry glare that promised 'death-doom-and-anything/everything-unpleasant' if you don't listen to her. 

*Bows* Yes ma'am it won't happen again.

"Good." Riven said.

Now after many non-hentai mishaps they reached a clearing with a strange fountain. Everyone was strangely thirsty and thought it was a very conveniently placed fountain. Nearly everyone took a drink from the fountain. 

"I love you Xellos even though you're a namagomi mazoku!" Filia was the first succumb to a strange side effect.

"I love you too Filia even though you're a selfish dragon!" Xellos and Filia embraced.

"Amelia I just realized you mean the world to me!" Zelgadis said with hearts in his eyes.

"I've always known that I love you! I was waiting for you to realize that!" Amelia and Zelgadis whirled around.

"You know, I think I love you, you jellyfish you." Lina said.

"And I love you even though you have no bust." Gourry hugged Lina.

^_^ Riven watched on hiding the love potion behind her back. "Yup. My work is done." She looked at her watch that wasn't there. "Now I'll take that vacation." 

Riven sauntered off into the sunset that appeared happy that she was a part of this random fic that Digi-riven wrote in a short time compared to her other fics. Though Riven is her alter-ego isn't she?

A voice booms from above. "Yes! I control the computer! I control what everyone does! Mwuahahahaha…"

~ ~ ~ (…hahahaha. ^-^ ) ~ ~ ~

Author's Notes: I wrote this just because I had so much extra time today. That and I just wanted to write something besides one of my many chaptered ones. The whole Riven vs. Narrator feud was partially inspired by Steffi Anderson's The Narrator. Steffi if you see this and don't want it up I'll take it down cause I didn't ask for permission. I don't own Get Along either but here's an encore! 

Riven walks onto a stage and somehow sings the translation as well. O_o

Tachi mukau saki ni kawaita kaze_________No matter how hard this wind,

Hageshiku fuki aretemo_________________tries to push me back.

Jumon mo hitotsu mo tonaetanara_________I recite a single spell and,

Watashi no PEESU ni naru______________set the pace my own way!

Dare mo ga urayamu kono PAWAA to_____Anyone who's jealous of my power,

Bibou ga yurusanai wa__________________and my beauty won't get in the way.

Donna aite demo hiumanai de____________I won't flinch from any opponent,

MANTO o nabikaseru no________________as my cape flaps in the breeze!

Are mo sitai, kore mo shitai______________I want to do this, I want to do that.

Onna no ko ni mietatte__________________Hey, that's just how girls are.

Yudan shitara jigoku iki yo_______________One slip and it's to hell you go,

Jama wa sasenaikara____________________so you better not get in my way!

Far away omou mama wa ga mama ni______Far away, I'm going where I want to!

Tabi o tsuzukete yukitai_________________Don't want this journey to end.

Tsurai hibi mo egao de PIRIODO yo_______Even the worst of days I end with a smile!

Far away ikutsu mo no maryoky daite______Far away embracing all the magic,

Kyou o koete yukitai no_________________I wanna go beyond this day…

Yume ni mukai aruki tsuzukete yuku_______With my eyes on my dreams I keep walking 

_____________________________________on!

Kagirinai hodo________________________As far as I can,

Get along, try again____________________get along try again…

Riven strikes a peace pose and walks off stage.

^o^ \V/ 


End file.
